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Blondes (Classification Essay)


            
             There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. Afterwards she went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. She asked the shepherd, "If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" He replied "Sure!" Out of the blue, she blurts out, "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one. The shepherd looked at her and replied, "If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!" Life is full of blondes and blonde moments; fortunately the American people love blondes. Blondes don't have it easy though; between the dumb jokes and the stereotypes, blondes struggle to prove that they are more than bimbos with great boobs. Unfortunately, a majority of blondes do fit into one of three stereotypes; the dumb blonde, the blonde bombshell, or the increasingly famous bleach blonde.
             The dumb blonde is the most familiar of all blondes. One can always identify her by her baffled stare that emerges often during conversation. While engaged in a conversation with a dumb blonde, the news story of a double leg amputee who ran a marathon in New York was mentioned; the blonde looked at me puzzled and responded, "Wouldn't he get light headed?" I began to wonder if there was a brain in her head. For a moment there was no counter argument. Then, I realized the sole purpose for their entire existence. They are the fashion divas; they possess all the fashion knowledge one could dream of. They wear only the top designer brands and could never have too many shoes. The dumb blonde has a large resemblance to the blonde bombshell, fashion wise, but less intelligent and has no comparison in beauty. .
             The blonde bombshell is the least common of all blondes. We have all seen her before, even though few are still in existence.


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