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living with partner b4 marriag


             Wouldn't it make sense for a couple to live together for a while, just to see how they react to each other's "down" times? If they discover that they can't adjust when they live together, they don't have to go through the hassle of a divorce. It's sort of like signing a lease. You have a Month to month rental agreement. As long as the other person doesn't mess up, you will stick around. Besides, isn't it easier to adjust when you don't feel trapped by marriage? The problem with those arguments is that marriage changes everything. If couples that live together think that after marriage everything will be the same, they don't understand what marriage does to a couple, both positively and negatively. Studies have shown the chances of a divorce after living together are huge, much higher than for couples who have not lived together prior to marriage. If living together were a test of marital compatibility, the statistics should show opposite results -- couples living together should have stronger marriages. But they don't. They have weaker marriages. .
             To understand why this is the case, I suggest that you consider why couples who live together don't marry. Ask yourself, why did you choose to live with your boyfriend instead of marrying him? The answer is that you were not ready to make that commitment to him yet. First, you wanted to see if you still loved him after you did everything married people do. In other words, you wanted to see what married life would be like without the commitment of marriage. But what you don't seem to realize is that you will never know what married life is like unless you're married. The commitment of marriage adds a dimension to your relationship that puts everything on its ear. Right now, you are testing each other to see if you are compatible. If either of you slips up, the test is over and out the door you go. Marriage doesn't work that way. Slip-ups don't end the marriage.


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